Discipline is from Latin words “disciplina” that means teaching and learning. From Longman Contemporary English Dictionary, Discipline is “way of training someone so that they learn to control their behaviour and obey rules.” The goal of discipline is to develop self-discipline of a child in the long run. When parents discipline their children with love, the children will learn to control their behaviour, follow rules and regulation.
United Stance
Both husband and wife have a united stance so that it is easy for the children to follow. Parents become the coach to support and guide their children to the right path.
Immediate Character-based correction
Parents may consider adopt character –based parenting approach to teach their good character, such as attentiveness, obedience, patience, consideration and so on. Parents need to praise the good character when they have done something good immediately. However, parents need to correct their children’s character instantly when they have done something wrong. It helps them to develop moral judgement and learn to make the right choice for their action. If discipline is delayed, they will forget his mistake.
Set rules and boundaries
Parents require to set their family rules and boundaries. For instance, we teach our children to respect others. The family rules of consideration of others, e.g. no demanding or yelling are set. The consequence of demanding or yelling will be “time out-corner”, parents discuss with their children about their attitude and behaviour. In addition, the rules of no hurting to himself, other people and things are set as the baseline of our children’s behaivour. In order for them to follow, parents are advised to explain to their children the principle behind the rules.
Firm but kind
Discipline ought to be firm but kind. The children will know the consequence of their action when the parents are firm. With nurturing and love, the children will grow in a safe and secure environment.
Through the discipline practice of united stance of parents, immediate character-based correction, setting rules and boundaries and kind but kind, parents will guide their children to follow rules and regulation and be self-discipline in future. Discipline with love can build self-esteem of children. They may feel safe and secure with rules and boundaries. The firm but kind attitude will provide loving and secure environment to correct the behaviour and attitude of children.
Ms Mak Wai Chong, a mother of 3 children, is a freelance trainer and counsellor. She has worked as social worker and counsellor for 17 years. Visit her website at http://www.WiseParents.net for prenatal training and parenting information and FREE newsletters.
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