When parents face a problem or an issue presented by children, parents may use problem solving approach to understand and resolve problems. Treating their problem as a valuable learning opportunity, parents may use questioning to help them express their feeling and ask them appropriate and relevant questions to help them resolve their problem.
Express feeling and emotion
Parents may facilitate your child to express his or her emotion. Parents can tell or share with their children about their feelings. For instance, a mother said to his child, “You appeared to be very angry. What is happening?”
Think
Parents may teach their children thinking skill. Parents may ask their child,” What can he or she do to solve the problem?” or “What can parents do to help?”
When the child has suggested some methods or ways, parents need to acknowledge their effort to help themselves and ask the child the consequence or impact of his or her action on others. Parents may guide them to find the best way to solve the problem.
Act
Once they have decided the best solution, they need the support or encouragement to act on their decision. Parents can ask them,”What do they learn from the experience and what will you do now?”
Practice
For example, an elder brother, aged 4, was very angry at the younger brother, aged 2, who snatched his favourite toy. He came to tell his mother. Mother said, ”You seemed to be very upset at your brother. Can you tell me more about it?”
The elder brother said,” My younger brother has snatched my favourite toy car.” Mother answered,” Um… You must be very angry. What can you do now to solve your problem?”
The elder brother replied,” I can hit him. I screamed and shouted at him. I snatched his favourite toy. I asked him to give it back to me.” Mother said,” You have told me so many ways. Tell me which way is the best. Do you remember our family rules that we cannot hurt others?”
The elder brother was quiet for a moment. He said,” I cannot hit or screamed at him because it hurts. I can tell him nicely to get back my toy”.
Mother said,” I am glad that you make your decision. What shall you do now?” The elder brother said,” I shall tell him that he is not right because he snatch my toy and ask him to give it back to me.”
Mother replied,” I am very happy that you can handle your problem.” He was very happy because he got back his toy after he talked to his brother. Mother asked him,” What do you learn?” He replied,” I learn to think and solve my problem.”
With more conscious effort, we can apply the problem solving approach into practice in our daily lives. This approach is effective for parents to dialogue with the children to understand their feelings, find out what is happening and ask relevant questions to facilitate problem solving process. This is an important skill for their life-long development.
Ms Mak Wai Chong, a mother of 3 children, is a freelance trainer and counsellor. She has worked as social worker and counsellor for 17 years. Visit her website at http://www.WiseParents.net for prenatal training and parenting information and FREE newsletters.
Important
note: This may be republished free of charge to relevant and
legitimate websites, as long as Copyright and Author Resource Box are
included, and everything remain unchanged.
Disclaimers: The
author shares this article based on her personal and work experience
and disclaims any responsibility for any liability, losses or damages
and /or application of any of contents of this article.